The Family Size that Satisfies.....What family!?

Pick 'N Save really irks me. I don't know who their buyers are, but they NEVER have the Oncor Salisbury Steaks that my husband and son so adore. I know, the thought makes me shudder too...pressed "meat" patties swimming in gravy that, if left out for an hour or two, completely congeals into brown sludge. Sounds tasty, doesn't it? Yeah, not to me either...

But the boys love them. Braeden, when left to his own devices, will devour three patties himself. He's three. Therefore, he now thinks the company downsized packaging (much like those cunning girl scouts) and only 4 come in a box. I've got many tricks up my sleeve.

I had a coupon and Oncor meals were on sale, so I thought I'd treat my favorite men. The thing was only going to cost me $1.49. Can't beat that!!! But, alas, the buyers at Pick 'N Save failed me again and there wasn't a pressed, grill-marked patty in sight. I wanted to use the coupon so I got the Mostaccioli with meatballs. The back of the box touts that it's so good you'll claim the authentic recipe as your own.

To that, I say....WTF????? Did you just meet your first stove and pan yesterday?

Isn't their whole ad campaign the "family size that satisfies"??? Who, exactly, is satisfied by 20 tubes of pasta and some runny sauce? I am not kidding...that was my portion. 20 goddamn tubes of overdone pasta swimming in red sauce. I'm not a meatball fan so I opted out of those. But Joe had the same amount of pasta as I did (20 tubes...not kidding here) and the meatballs. Braeden had 2 meatballs and 8 tubes, all of which he decided he didn't want to eat. And that was the entire container. Back of the box says it serves 5. 5 what? 5 midgets??? Do they realize at corporate that the portion size for each of 5 people would be roughly 9 tubes of pasta and 1-1/2 meatballs???

(Okay, fancypants...I know what you're thinking...."That's not Nutrisystem!!!" True-up my friend. But caloricly, there were actually fewer calories in my dinner than had I gone the NS route.)

I know we're hair deep in this recession here but they cannot possibly sleep at night advertising that "now more than ever" Oncor is your cheap, filling dinner solution.

But........... it did only cost $1.49, so I guess, what should I have expected for $.50 a serving????

Day 4 Check-in/Boot Camp Class

I've gotten through nearly 4 days of Nutrisystem and I am happy as a stuffed clam (but really, where did this expression come from? Do clams have feelings? And if by some slim chance they did, would they be happy to be stuffed???). It's been very easy and I am still incredibly motivated. Just to be safe though, I'm eating all my favorite NS meals right off the bat as opposed to saving them for when I hit a slump. That's just never worked. 4 Days = 100%....unless you count that glass and a half of wine last night. Guess you have to.

I went to Boot Camp class this morning at the gym. OH MY GOD. I'm somewhat fit but this was just ridiculous. You'd think all I ever did for exercise was circle the mall a few times and end up at the food court. I tried pacing myself but was still served my own ass on a silver platter. I had to modify most exercises as I can only do shoulder presses with resistance bands so long before my arms pop off in a bloody mess. I doubt these die-hards would stop long enough to mop up the mess.

It was an hour of pure torture. Running. Sprinting. Spinning. Lifting. Pressing. Stepping. Lunging. Pushing. Sit-Ups. Push-Ups. Inchworms. We even lifted the steps above our heads and did shoulder presses WHILE sprinting. Becky wasn't effing around.

I nearly collapsed. Four times. I thought I was going to throw up several times, and I'm pretty sure that once I did a little bit. I threw my resistance band 5 feet away from me and just lifted my arms, half-assed, because 45 minutes into this crap that was all I could do. I rested that damn step right on top of my sweaty head while walking, not running. NO BECKY, I cannot raise it above my head, even though it's only 30 more seconds. Do you understand that my shoulders are THROBBING? I don't want to be Lou Flipping Ferrigno. I want to be cute and petite.

We are big fans of The Biggest Loser and so many times, I've thought about how cool it would be to be on that show. To have someone scream at you until you're so afraid you're going to pee your pants so you just DO it. I have newfound respect for those contestants, because this is what they do 6-8 hours a day.

Glad I did it though, and I'll probably do it again next week. Perhaps I'll view it as punishment for screwing myself up so badly over the past few months. I think (I hope?) that it will get a little easier and I'll at least be able to keep up and maybe, just maybe, not have to modify.

I just hope there's no babies in the daycare tomorrow as I can state most assuredly that I will not be able to pick them up. I don't think I'll be able to move.

GREED!

From Fox News:

Postmaster General Gets Pay Bonus as Agency Falters

Postmaster General John Potter's base salary climbed to $265,000 last year from $186,000 in 2007. He also received a performance bonus of $135,000. In all his total compensation -- salary, bonuses, retirement benefits and other perks -- topped $850,000, a spokesman with the U.S. Postal Service told FOXNews.com on Wednesday.


Well, at least we know why stamps are going up another 2 cents... And I guarantee this chump doesn't work nearly as hard or honestly as half the husbands I know, including mine.

$850,000!!! Meanwhile, we're on budget lock-down here. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, doesn't it?

"The Bachelor".... Most dramatic Final Rose Ceremony EVER

I'm seriously laughing my butt off right now.

If you watch the Bachelor or are even familiar with it and it's laughable premise, you are aware of the rose ceremonies and Final Rose, where the Bachelor picks the lady he wants to spend "the rest of his life with", or the one he wants to have crazy mad sex with for a week or two. Track record is similar to a plate of pasta in front of me...doesn't last real long.

After Monday's "dramatic" episode, "The Bachelor's" answer to Jeff Probst informs us there will be 2 "After the Final Rose" episodes, and something so dramatic happens that they had to have a closed set due to the sensitive nature of the situation.

Lordiness. For YEARS, Chris Harrison has been touting each and every episode of the the show to be the "most dramatic ever." Boy, meet Wolf. Wolf, meet Boy.

So now, after years and years of this rubbish, we're supposed to believe something crazy is going to happen that will blow all other finales away. Yawn.

Okay, not yawn, because as usual, I buy all this crap hook, line and sinker. I'm not saying I buy it on an emotional level, as though I actually care about these people. I buy it on the "I need to know" level.

From here on out, I will talk about spoilers but not reveal them. Not everyone is like me and wants to know beforehand!

Until a few days ago, I'd never heard of a chap named "Reality Steve." I guess he's some staple blogger who is, you guessed it, obsessed with reality tv. And he's obsessed with "The Bachelor." Hrm.....I don't even know that many women who watch the show, but there's our pal Steve, following the show and blogging nearly every day. Dude, Laura Bush called...she wants her skirt back.

On the ABC boards yesterday, there were rumors swirling about that Reality Steve had all the answers and knows exactly what is "so shocking" and "sensitive". Why Steve? How does he know? It doesn't matter, because he announced that he would be spilling the beans this morning on YouTube. All your questions will be answered in a self-videotaped message, or possibly 3 consecutive videos, because there is just so much to say.

So I went to work today and damn near counted the minutes until I could get home and watch him share what he claims he's known all along, and is only sharing because he's been concerned about the false rumors being spread on what the "sensative" situation could possibly be. I've read that Molly is pregnant. Melissa is pregnant. Stephanie is really his sister. His ex-wife makes a scene about how he exploited his child. Melissa's parents are dead. Melissa had a sex change (no, I am not kidding).

So Reality Steve, listening to his conscience, decides to put all rumors to bed and tell us what he really knows. What a guy!!!

I just finished watching the videos. I want those 20-some minutes of my life back. In that time, I could have worked out. I could have entered Uppercase Living orders. I could have cleaned my bathroom. Washed my sheets. Folded laundry. Took a shower. Dusted. Vacuumed. Slept. Anything other than watch that display of self-appreciation.

I am wordy but this man takes the cake. He took 20-some odd minutes to tell us what he could have said in no more than 3 minutes. This man obviously loves himself so much that he needed to film himself for nearly a half hour. He talks to his dog. He shifts around like crazy. He pumps himself so full of importance that you wonder why he isn't curing cancer. He makes weird faces. Uses dramatic pauses. It's all here, folks. One stop shopping.

He even goes on to discuss conspiracy theories that even those who think our own government flew the planes into the Twin Towers would be proud of. Who knew tv producers had so much power!

THIS is why we have YouTube. To have people create their own stardom.

Does he have the answers? Did he really know what he was talking about? Well, only time will tell I suppose as the finale is still a week away, and the second After the Final rose is nearly two weeks away. But at least I can sleep tonight knowing what Reality Steve thinks is going to happen...

Is it shocking? Not really. Not if you've seen ANY episode of the past seasons of the Bachelor.

Daily Weight-Loss Challenge Weigh In #2

Day 2 and I am so happy to say that I kicked butt on Nutrisystem yesterday and today thus far. You may think that's no big deal....it's only a day and a half! Oh, but it is. The first few days are always the hardest, especially when going from normal food to prepacked food.

Kicked my own ass at the gym this morning for 2 hours and I feel great. I love Tuesdays and Thursdays as Braeden is in preschool, and instead of driving PAST the gym to go home, I dedicated myself to the Gym Gods for that time. I've been doing that dedicated time for a month and a half and it's awesome. And since, I've also been much more committed to working out the other 3 days of the work week, if not Saturday too. I love the fact that I've gotten back into this habit and am going strong, and I did so BEFORE hopping back on the Nutrisystem bandwagon. I think that's partially my problem...I go all gung-ho on something and do it 300% but the get burned out. It's too much change all at once. I think this was a smart way to do it!

I just know Becky is going to make me go to Boot Camp on Thursday, and I'm terrified. But I will take it at my own pace. I am the same girl who walked out of Kickboxing 15 minutes in and basically told the instructor to go to hell. I'm so pleasant, aren't I? But she told me to just take it slow and ease into it, and she's the instructor, so I guess I'll give it a go.

There may be another very bitchy post on Thursday.

(In Dana Carvey's Church Lady's Voice) ... Isn't that SPECIAL????

Well, the twerps over at Platinum Dunes have officially ruined my day. It's heavily rumored they are working on a sequel to the crapfest that was "Friday the 13th". Isn't that SPECIAL???

I can't believe they even have the time to discuss this while working on completely butchering/remaking another shining star of horror...A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Am I on a different planet? Who actually thinks all of this is a GOOD idea???

I am apologizing ahead of time

I am apologizing ahead of time for the imminent bitchiness that is, as of right now, peacefully slumbering, awaiting it's headlining appearance.

"Still pissed about that Friday remake?" No. As of today, I started Nutrisystem again.

Nutrisystem in itself does not make me bitchy. I had great success with it nearly 3 years ago after becoming a hippopotamus while pregnant, and then continuing with hippopotomy-ways post-birth. 60 pounds. That's what you get when your pregnancy cravings consist of nothing but Hamburger Helper. 10 for $10 Hamburber Helper.

I was on Nutrisystem for 3-1/2 months or so (steadily for 2 and then slowly adding back in normal food for another month or two) and lost a whopping 40 pounds. I know, you're thinking "but you gained 60, Amanda, you said so yourself." Thanks for doing the math and pointing that out, but I did manage to shed some weight when I had a baby pulled out of a scar-inducing slit in my stomach, and when I stopped eating Hamburger Helper 7 days a week. I'm not totally out of control.

Okay, see why I apologized? Bitchy me.

Anyways.... I lost 40 pounds and got down to what I can remember being the fittest I'd ever been. I exercised religiously, ate well, and really applied myself. Many think Nutrisystem is some quick-fix fad diet that you can't possibly maintain because you're not eating the food forever. True, you're not, but it does teach you certain principles, ratios and portion sizes that, unless you're a total dipshit, you CAN apply to real-life and be successful. I was case in point and did just that, even lost more after I went off the pre-packaged food.

Then came 2008. THIS is why I'm bitchy. Why the hell did 2008 even HAPPEN? We lost a tremendous amount of money in the markets. Sales have slowed dramatically at Joe's company. Braeden turned into a very demanding, head-strong and challenging 3-year old (only sometimes but still, it's harder than age 1). Grocery prices and gas went sky high. Obama was elected President.

Shame. I promised I wouldn't do that anymore.

And in 2008, I gained weight. Not a pound or two. Let's say it's enough to make most of my pants not fit correctly. I have a muffin top when I wear them and then my shirts look stupid. My once-cute boobs feel like they're popping out of my bra, even though Joe assures me they are not. My ass feels like it's taken on a life of it's own, like it just woke up and realized it was missing out on the party. My face seems fuller. And my thighs....oh, let's not even talk about my thighs.

"But Amanda, you got yourself there." Yes, thank you very much, AGAIN, for pointing out the obvious. I really slacked on exercising, and although I didn't quit it altogther, it definitely was not as high-priority as it was before. I took many more liberties with food. Pizza became my friend again. You know, the kind of friend you think is your friend but they're really just waiting in the wings to steal your boyfriend... Wine. Oh Lordiness, did I indulge in the wine. And beer. And chips. Pasta... You name it, I probably ate it.

I am an idiot for thinking it wouldn't catch up with me. But 2008, the year from Hell, made sure that it did. In a big way. And I've decided to do something about it. I am taking control. I am doing what I know works because it worked wonderfully in the past. So Nutrisystem, I am here old Buddy. I enjoyed your Pasta with Beef for lunch and look forward to Mac and Cheese for dinner. No more Cheez-its. You hear that Ed? No more Cheez-Its.

I will be fabulous by mid-Spring and stunning by Summerfest. I will win this battle. And I'm blogging about. How stupid am I to document this????