Summer, Summer, Summertime...Time to Sit Back and Unwind

We are officially selling our house, buying something cheaper and also buying our dream cabin up in the Wisconsin Dells.

Well, not really. But in a few years, I will be happy to say goodbye to my house in favor of a more laid back lifestyle. One that can include many more weekends like this past one.

We had the pleasure of spending the weekend at my sister and brother in law's family cabin in Montello, WI. It was exactly what a good summer weekend is made of...good food, beautiful lake, pontooning, kid's laughter, sun, campfire, and beer. Too much of the latter but that will not be the topic of my first blog entry in nearly two weeks. Those who know us well know that we do not need to state the most obvious.

In fact, there isn't much to post about. We laughed a ton and everyone was so happy. It's been a while again since we've all been together (all siblings and Dad, minus the youngest sister) and it was great to catch up. Braeden had a great time with his cousins and I'm sure he'll remember the weekend for the rest of his life. In fact, we actually saw some bravery in him as after nearly a half hour of coaxing by EVERYONE, he finally got in the lake. Then we couldn't get him out! I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face as he was out there being "one of the boys." It's the stuff kids live for.

I think the weekend is best summed up by photos...
















I am looking forward to many more summertime memories!!!

The Face of Fear

Have you ever spent $40 and gotten almost nothing out of the deal? In this economy, that doesn't sit too well with me but when you're on vacation, anything goes. Money goes like a nice big bottle of water after a spinning class. You've just got to suck it up and realize that vacation's gonna cost you. A lot.

This past weekend we had the pleasure of traveling to the Wisconsin Dells with our good friends and their son. The two boys are close in age so it was a lot of fun to watch them run around, being crazy... They had a blast. Well, at least the other boy did. Ours, we realized, is a big wimp. And I mean that with all the love in the world. Maybe I shouldn't call him a wimp, that sounds so awful for a mom to say. We'll call him thrill-seeking challenged.

Because we live and traveled in Wisconsin during June, the weather was a crapshoot. We got the crap. At one point, it was 49 degrees. Nobody packed enough warm weather clothes as we were trying to be optimistic. Know what optimism gets you? Nips that could cut glass. Screw optimism.

Anyways, because Mother Nature decided to take a dump on us, we had to spend most of our vacation indoors. I guess the Dells is the place to have that happen as there is so much to do indoors, including indoor waterparks. We partook in those and it helped ease some of the vacation blues. But indoor waterparks include a lot of indoor waterslides. Have I mentioned that my son is "thrill-seeking challenged"? Waterslides are grouped into that category of fun things my child will not do.

To his credit, he did go down one of the giant waterslides with me. It took 20 minutes on the top deck to convince him to do it (thank God the lifeguard was patient and there was nobody else around wanting to go down) but he did it. He didn't really enjoy it. But he did it. Then we decided to take it easy and go on the lazy river. Joe sent both of us ass over head into the water when he tried getting on the raft with us. So set the tone for Braeden's braveness.

Saturday we went to Knuckleheads (look for the banner on the right side of blog, I'm sure), an indoor amusement park. It was great. The facility was perfect and there was so much to do. We bought Braeden the Kiddie Pass as he loves going to fairs and such with the stupid little motorcycles and trains. There were several of those types of rides so we thought we hit a gold mine. All the kid wanted to do when we got inside was ride the roller coaster. We were surprised but went with it. You have to jump on the opportunity when it presents itself.

I bet you can guess what happened. He freaked. The entire time. He screamed and cried. Joe rode with him and this is where I wonder what the hell kind of sadistic mother I am. I laughed. Not a little chuckle...I laughed my ass off. I know, it's sad. He was TERRIFIED. I should have been feeling a different emotion but it was so stinking funny. The look on his face. The look on Joe's face. I felt terrible for him but I couldn't help it.

And now I present you with the face that had me buckled over:



Come on, that's funny stuff...





I know, I'm terrible. It's my job as a Mother to make sure my child feels safe and secure. But I had to find some humor in the fact that the other little boy with us went on everything. Rides that I wouldn't think most 5 year olds would ride. He's a daredevil and therefore, his parents had a great time. After the coaster, my kid wouldn't even go on the kiddie planes that just go slowly in a circle. $40 down the drain. Forgive me if I have to find some humor in the situation... ;)

Bedtime Excuses Galore

The crib is a beautiful invention. Not only does it keep the little ones safe and sound, it also provides parents with a little extra sanity. Braeden loved his crib. He looked forward to going to bed every night, every naptime... Of course, he had his beloved nuk as well. It never came out of the crib. Call it bribery or whatever you'd like, but that kid sucked on that piece of plastic for 3-1/2 years and we never fretted about it. He would just cuddle up in his crib and drift away...never called for us, never tried climbing out of it...no acrobatics here. NIghtime was so peaceful...Joe and I could sit down with a cocktail, play a game of Yahtzee or cribbage, read a book, etc, etc, etc.

When he turned 3-1/2, we figured we'd pushed the crib envelope as far as we could. He's not a baby anymore. It was time to convert the lifetime crib into a toddler bed. Braeden was thrilled.

Thrilled because he could get out of bed by himself.

Gone were the days of him sleeping until past 8 am. Now we're graced with his presence at 6:15 am. I am not a morning person. This does not work for me. But I can deal with it as we have DVR in our room. Scooby is my hero for I can get a few minutes of extra sleep.

What I cannot deal with is the cornucopia of bedtime excuses. This has only been exacerbated by the recent transition into his double bed. This only happened because the kid is so freaking tall he was almost too long for his toddler bed.

Here is an abbreviated list of Braeden Wayne's bedtime excuses:

- "I'm thirsty"
- "I have to go poopy." Does one pellet count?
- "I can't see my tractor." Yes, because it's bedtime and the lights go out.
- "My aquarium isn't working." Because you shut it off...you know how to turn it off but always miraculously "forget" how to turn it on, even though it's the same button.
- "By the way..." Finish statement with anything under the sun
- "I forgot to feed Girlie." The cat is fat, she'll live....and you don't feed her every day anyways.
-"We forgot to read a book." No we didn't; we read 3.
-"Papa has to take a time out because he forgot to wash his hands before dinner." Um....2 months ago.
-"My owie hurts." You know, the one you got two weeks ago. It suddenly hurts again.
-"I'm thirsty." Again.
-"I don't want this digger in my bed." Walk in to see that you pulled every single digger of his dresser and now decide you don't want them all there...all 14 of them.
-"Someone's mowing." At 9 pm in the dark? No they're not, Braeden.
-"Is Alex here?" Unless they came 4 days early and took a late night car ride, NO, he is not.
-"My _______ hurts." Fill in the blank.
-"Mommy and Daddy, you're uhposed to go to sweep." We can't because you won't leave us alone.

And the best of all....Drumroll please....

- "I need my whoopie cushion." Despite the fact I haven't seen it for 4.5 months; why does one need a whoopie cushion in bed???

There you have it, the short list.

Would it be wrong to put that crib back together again???

Reminder to Self Re: The Dells

Enclosed is an e-mail I sent out last year to all my peeps regarding our second family trip to the Dells. I had to forward it to someone today and I thought it may be appropriate for my blog, seeing as we are headed there once again in a week and a half....


Things I learned in the Dells this weekend
Sunday, August 24, 2008 9:47 PM


Hello my friends,

Here are some things I learned in the Dells this weekend:

1. Never get the fish fry at Moosejaw.
2. Marley's Taste of the Caribbean, despite what they say, is not a family environment after 8:30 pm. However, if you're looking for a passed out drunk guy with groups of people taking his picture, it's your joint.
3. Give your husband plenty of time to look at the menu. This way, he won't make a rash decision and order something with lobster in it that has no price listed next to it. $40 for mac and cheese with a lobster tail thrown on top? Are you f'ing kidding me???
4. Never go miniature golfing with your child when he is purposely holding his poop.
5. 3 licks of a popsicle on the resort will set you back $3 (Yes, $3 for frozen sugar water). Because after they whine for one for a half hour, their mouths must be too tired to eat it. At this point, I could have poured tequila on it and called it a Margarita. And then, by Dells standards, it would be a cheap drink.
6. Swimming makes kids have to pee. A lot. And the Polynesian Resort is somehow clairvoyant in the fact he's just barely potty trained, so they made sure to put our room the furthest distance from the pool they could. And no, there were no public restrooms closer.
7. Go ahead, look for coupons. Look far and wide, because there are plenty to be had. But you know damn well that the place you are going to will not offer coupons. At least, until after you go there, pay full price, and then LATER look on the back of the hotel map. Well, I'll be dipped in shit, I never thought to look there for coupons to Storybook Gardens.
8. And while you're at it, pay full price for Storybook Gardens to which your child, sweet and darling as he is, doesn't give a damn about the Storybook characters. The ONLY thing he wants to do is take a family ride on the Storybook Gardens 5-minute train ride where the seats are so small your knees are shoved up your nostrils.
9. Never, ever make your husband go to the Outlet mall on your way out of town if he's tired. It's just not fun then, because then he just makes faces as he pushes your WAY TOO BIG child around in the red beetle-bug shaped car stroller that he had to ride in. For 2 seconds.

Believe it or not, we did have a great time but a weekend sure can present it's challenges!!! Keep these things in mind though...I warned you!

Amanda

The Great Hamburger Helper Debate

I post somewhat regularly (not a lot but I read it every day) on a message board filled with women who have children born in September of 2005. It's been a great resource for me since a lot of the women have older children and have already gone through all this craziness.

Currently there is a great debate going on over Hamburger Helper. Cripes, I can't even call it a debate as there is no debate taking place.... Someone asked our opinion of it and every single post, except for mine, has been scathing of the product.

Let me put this out there... We eat it. Not a lot, but we eat it. And you know what? We enjoy it. Yes, we are WELL aware of the fact that it is not healthy. There are many other choices we could make but sometimes I just want me some Strohganoff Hamburger Helper.

I ate so much HH when I was pregnant that we were afraid Braeden would be Lasagna flavored. 10 for $10 at Pick 'N Save was like winning the lottery for me. It was easy and I didn't feel like doing a whole lot, so it fit the bill.

Our house is filled with very healthy choices. I am very proud of the fact that we're raising Braeden to know the goodness of whole wheat bread, fruits and vegetables, olive oil, etc. He is a STELLAR eater. I cook with a ton of fresh ingredients and belong to many healthy eating websites where I get fantastic recipes.

Braeden is not allowed to snack on Hostess and he doesn't want to. He doesn't drink soda because he doesn't want to...he'll chose water. He told me he didn't like his sandwich one day at lunch because the bread was weird...we had a loaf of white bread left over from some visiting friends ~ He's used to whole wheat. One of his favorite snacks is carrots and RF italian dressing. Last night he forwent an Oreo (from his Dad) in favor of an apple. Did I mention he's 3????

Our diet is awesome 90% of the time. So if the other 10% is filled with things like special trips to McDonald's, pizza, or God forbid...Hamburger Helper, I'm okay with that. I'll sleep just fine at night. I'm not poisoning him. It doesn't make me less of a Mother.

I'm curious...is this an instance where the only people who post are ones who have something negative to say? They say that about reviews. Are all the HH eaters hiding for fear of being slapped with a stupid stick? Or are the Janiks some freakish rarity that enjoy box dinners from time to time? Do YOU eat it? Or do you think I should be commmitted?

Now, I have to go clean up from Braeden's lunch of a peach, broccoli and veggie pasta with tomoato sauce. Ssssshhhhhh....don't tell anyone but it was white pasta.

The Family Size that Satisfies.....What family!?

Pick 'N Save really irks me. I don't know who their buyers are, but they NEVER have the Oncor Salisbury Steaks that my husband and son so adore. I know, the thought makes me shudder too...pressed "meat" patties swimming in gravy that, if left out for an hour or two, completely congeals into brown sludge. Sounds tasty, doesn't it? Yeah, not to me either...

But the boys love them. Braeden, when left to his own devices, will devour three patties himself. He's three. Therefore, he now thinks the company downsized packaging (much like those cunning girl scouts) and only 4 come in a box. I've got many tricks up my sleeve.

I had a coupon and Oncor meals were on sale, so I thought I'd treat my favorite men. The thing was only going to cost me $1.49. Can't beat that!!! But, alas, the buyers at Pick 'N Save failed me again and there wasn't a pressed, grill-marked patty in sight. I wanted to use the coupon so I got the Mostaccioli with meatballs. The back of the box touts that it's so good you'll claim the authentic recipe as your own.

To that, I say....WTF????? Did you just meet your first stove and pan yesterday?

Isn't their whole ad campaign the "family size that satisfies"??? Who, exactly, is satisfied by 20 tubes of pasta and some runny sauce? I am not kidding...that was my portion. 20 goddamn tubes of overdone pasta swimming in red sauce. I'm not a meatball fan so I opted out of those. But Joe had the same amount of pasta as I did (20 tubes...not kidding here) and the meatballs. Braeden had 2 meatballs and 8 tubes, all of which he decided he didn't want to eat. And that was the entire container. Back of the box says it serves 5. 5 what? 5 midgets??? Do they realize at corporate that the portion size for each of 5 people would be roughly 9 tubes of pasta and 1-1/2 meatballs???

(Okay, fancypants...I know what you're thinking...."That's not Nutrisystem!!!" True-up my friend. But caloricly, there were actually fewer calories in my dinner than had I gone the NS route.)

I know we're hair deep in this recession here but they cannot possibly sleep at night advertising that "now more than ever" Oncor is your cheap, filling dinner solution.

But........... it did only cost $1.49, so I guess, what should I have expected for $.50 a serving????

Judgement by Shopping Cart?

So it's come to my attention that some women judge others based on what is in their shopping cart. They claim that they can tell so much about a person by what they see in the checkout line belt... Lots of frozen meals, chips and beer, must be a bachelor! Juice, white bread and peanut butter and jelly, must be a mom trying to be a good mom but really having no clue. Cheetos, orange juice, and carrots...must be going to an "All-Orange Party." All frozen things together, cans stacked, and boxes neatly packed....must be anal-retentive. All merchandise all amiss....PSYCHO!!!!

Okay, really? Is this REALLY happening? I've been known to glance in others carts, but it almost just happens subconsciously, not because I want to play Psychologist and figure out their personalities. Now I'm totally freaked about my cart. What does it say about me?

Let's see....if I'm at Pick 'N Save or Wal-Mart, Braeden is sitting in the car-attachment part of the cart holding a box of Scooby-Doo Mac and Cheese. I thought this was cute and he's sure having a blast. But no....That must mean I can't bother dealing with my child so I banish him to another part of the cart before feeding him poison, aka white pasta. The front part of my cart (under the seat) is loaded with vegetables and fruit. Well, because I hate my son (obviously) these fruits and vegetables are for me. I am selfish. Slim Fast, so I must have self-image issues. But there's Twinkies in the cart too.... Uh oh, call Dr. Phil. Fat thin fat thin fat thin. I have frozen pizzas and also Boboli breads, sauces and cheese. Wants to be Martha Stewart but settles for Rachel Ray. Interesting.

You think.... Whole wheat bread...well, at least she's doing something right. Refrigerated cookie dough. Sigh. Well, it's obviously not for her banished child, so she must be planning on binging on the entire tube. That's okay, she'll have Slim-Fast the next morning. Oatmeal...nice choice! But fruit snacks? Do you really hate the kid so much you allow him to have kiddie cocaine??? Ham. Ham, really? Hatin' her husband too if she's giving him all that sodium, hoping his BP will suck. Unless, of course, the Twinkies are for him, then she's just trying to kill him. Whole wheat waffles, English muffins and bagels. Obviously wants to try and do the right thing but does any human being need that many carbs? And skim milk. SKIM MILK!!!???? But he's just a baby! He needs whole milk until he's 1. No 3. No wait, this month the magazines say 5. And I just read in that same magazine that kids shouldn't have hot dogs until they're 12. Call child protective services. She's not fit to be a mother. Must be having and affair and is trying to do away with her family. Diet Pepsi??? Oh Lord, this is worse than we thought! She uses artificial sweeteners!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, I beg of you people, you cart-looking judgers..... Back away. Slowly. Do not judge me. Have you ever been hit in the head with a can of Healthy Request Cream Soup? Yeah, that's right....I said CREAM SOUP.

Instead of scoping out my cart, get your damned checkbook ready, because I'm willing to bet you're the one who waits until the VERY end to fill it in.

Life's BIG Pleasures

Today I played in the snow with Braeden, and it's just one of those things that warms your heart and makes you love life. I got him completely bundled up (winds howling at 25 miles an hour...come on already!) and then he had to pee, of course....but then we re-bundled and shoveled together, made snow angels, and played King of the Hill preschool style on the snowbanks from Mr. Mike's plow (snow blower still isn't working). He had his little Diego sunglasses on the a scarf wrapped around his face, so all you saw was this little pink nose and cheeks and it was so unbelievably adorable.

I hate being cold, hate the snow, and hate all things winter in Wisconsin, but I have to say that this morning was wonderful.