Amanda's Truth About Motherhood Entry #3

My Kid Has NO Idea There is Such a Thing as "Kid's Music"

It's true. The sound of bubble-gummy, sweet as molasses tunes make me want to vomit. He knows of certain shows on television where music reigns supreme (Wiggles, Doodlebops...etc) but has absolutely no idea that they actually produce CDs aimed at children. I have XM Radio and only once or twice have I turned on the Disney Kids (out of guilt, of course) and guess what was on? Miley Cyrus. I can hear that on top 40 (if I really wanted to....and I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face than listen to Hannah Montana...yeah, shout out to Weird Al!!!).

It's not that I don't approve of the message or innocence. In fact, I think it's a wonderful thing. Kids are growing up way to fast these days and the longer we can keep them young, the better. However, I thrive on music. I always have. It's my way of just escaping. Rhythm runs rampant in my family (rhythm, not dancing, mind you) and music speaks to us. Listening to John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt speaks to me in ways that make me shudder.

The few times he's heard kids music (Jaime, I'm talking to you) he just blanked out. He was so far tuned out from it, more interested in reading books. I don't know if some of it is above his head, because to be honest, so much kids music isn't so much about kids but about stupid topics that I wouldn't bring up at my dinner table. That same day we had on Disney XM Kids there was a song about a man who farted all the time. I kid you not.

And what about those cheesy Kidz Bop CD commercials that are on every commercial break on Nickelodeon et al? Is it really appropriate for kids to be singing "So What" by Pink? For your reading pleasure, the lyrics of the first verse:

I guess I just lost my boyfriend
I don't know where he went
So I'm gonna spend my money
I'm not gonna pay his rent

I got a brand new attitude
And I'm gonna wear it tonight
I'm gonna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight

I understand that these CDs are probably for kids older than 3-1/2 but the point still remains that they are marketed as Kids music. And stupid people buy them for their young children (no offense if that was you, it's the fault of marketing...I get that).

So what do we listen to in the car??? Whatever I feel like. Braeden likes classic rock and even some hip hop. Sure, not all of it is appropriate but I'm not some boobhead that leaves the station on when any of Flo-Rida's songs come on. Even if it goes way over his head, I doubt the artist is capable of producing any song that isn't about giving head.

Braeden loves the Rolling Stones. He loves the drum song by Kanye West. His favorite all-time song is "Only Time Will Tell" by Asia (WHO??? Yeah, I said the same thing when this all started). He's obsessed with the "horn song." There have been times when we put our foots down and refuse to play it anymore after the tenth time in a 30 minute drive.

Maybe when he gets older I'll bend a little, but for now, I'm selfish in this respect. Besides, I don't want anyone Jingleheimerschmidting around my child.