Ah, to be a weatherman...

edit: Updated forecasts are calling for the heavy rain to hit throughout the evening instead of during the day as called for before. So this post will most likely be stupid on my part. But it's still partly true...


Today we were supposed to get rain. Not just your run of the mill rain, but an ass-slapping downpour. 2-2.5 inches, to be exact. Our little section of SE Wisconsin's map was a lovely shade of spring-like purple.

What did we get????

A gentle rain that turned on and off for most of the morning and then depressing gray. Our sidewalks are already drying up. The pines are laughing.

This is par for the course though, as yesterday we were supposed to have a chance of morning showers and then clearing in the afternoon.

What did we get???

A day of steady rain. Not drizzle, but rain. Rain that pounds on your windshield so hard you can't hear the person on the other end. They can hear the rain too. That kind of rain.

It's often a topic of conversation about the weathermen's (weatherpeople, I should say....) continual inaccuracy. "If only we could all be weathermen...only get our jobs right 50% of time." Someone's ALWAYS guaranteed to say it when the subject arises (while thinking they are the first to ever utter such wit). True, but I'm not unreasonable and I took enough courses throughout my education to know that weather patterns can be unpredictable. The atmosphere is not some constant, like a book that reads the same at all times. But is it too much to ask for them to be a LITTLE right?

I guess you could argue that they WERE. They did predict rain on both days and we got that, just not in the order they reported on, incessantly, for the past 48 hours. "A Storm is A-Coming!" (okay, so I just channeled my inner Sophia)

So here's what they're forecasting for Friday... "Times of clouds and sun." WTF??? Seriously? Have they just resigned themselves to the fact that they pretty much suck and won't get it right, so they'll just make things as broad as possible? Considering the Solar System hosts a sun, and clouds are often present, this seems like a safe bet I guess. One of them is more than likely going to make an appearance.

Unless we get 12 inches of snow, which will probably happen.

Bangs: Redux

Scratch the previous post. I am LOVING my new bangs. Of course, I don't have pictures of them because that would mean I'd actually shower and look presentable...considering I was stuck to the couch for 2-1/2 days due to the flu, that wasn't happening. But my dearest Jaime will hopefully be sending me pictures from the bachelorette party last weekend so maybe I'll post them then. And maybe a few others???

Just know that it won't be MY ass in a too-tight thong you'd be seeing. Nah, I wouldn't post them. Even if I don't know the woman that well... You can thank me now.

It's not her fault, but that woman sucks...

The woman in the picture of my previous blog entry. She is beautiful, and she has cute hair. I had Megan cut my bangs the exact same way and I SOOOO don't look like that. I've played with my hair for some time now and found a way to do it where I actually like it, but that entire idea of keeping my hair the same only changing the bangs is out the window. At least until they grow out a little. Maybe a BIT TOO SHORT.

Fancy Hair Follow-Up - Going to be Spontaneous!!!

No, that is NOT me. I'm WAY hotter than that. (shut up)

I absolutely love the way my highlights turned out. Julie did a great job with the color. So it's got me more excited about my hair and now I think I need another change. I've had the sidesweep bang thing for a few years now (a few variations, but still the same concept) and am looking at new trends. It's always hard for me to try a new hairstyle as I never know what my hair is going to cooperate with. I found the picture above and absolutely LOVE it. My hair is somewhat similar on the sides already (shorter thought) so the only real difference is the bangs. I don't even care if the bangs are workable for me or not...I've already called Megan and booked an appointment for tomorrow to have it done.

I am so excited!!! Wish me luck. Hope that I don't turn out looking like a Shih Tzu.

Fancy Hair

My neighbor Julie was kind enough to highlight my hair this afternoon. It's only been over 6 months since I had any sort of color done. It's easy to get away with that in the winter as nobody gives a crap what you look like as they're all too grumpy about the weather to care. But in Spring, you gotta be fresh.... (okay, it's not exactly spring yet, but Vince Condella said meteorologically, it is...)

I've always gone to the salon to get it done with my girl Megan and since I've found her, nobody else is allowed to touch my hair (see previous post regarding haircuts). However, tough economy calls for tough measures, and the $70 or so it would cost for highlights just isn't in the budget. Thank God for beautician friends!!!

Anyhoo, I never brought Braeden with me to the salon when I get highlights as it just takes too long. He's seen me have hair ripped from my face by way of hot wax, but never with a head covered in foil. Part of the greatness of the neighbor situation is that I can get the process done at home...how cool is that?

As you can imagine, his reaction when she started wrapping my hair in foils was pretty gosh darn funny. It was like his little mind was working on this, wondering why something that is usually used for food is being put in my hair. We explained, many times, that I was getting my hair lightened. He knows the difference between light and dark, so this seemed a logical explanation, and he actually accepted it.

When I took him up to bed for a nap, head wrapped in foil, he said "when I get up, then I'll see your fancy hair." Fancy hair???? What does this mean? Does this mean that Mommy needs to take more pride in herself, as her normal hair is not "fancy"? Does it mean that any time I put even 5 minutes worth of time into my hair that I'm going above an beyond? That I normally look dreadful and a new hair color would make me, once again, presentable?

Or does it just mean that he loves me and knows how excited I am to be having this done?

I hope it's the latter. Unless, of course, he didn't understand the concept of lighter hair and just thinks from now on I'll have foil in my hair. Foil = Shiny. Shiny=Fancy?????

Today Marks Our 4 Year Anniversary!

I can hardly believe it, but today, March 5th, marks our 4th wedding anniversary. It's weird because while it seems like it was just yesterday, it also feels like it's been an incredibly LONG 4 years. Weird how timelines can be so conflicting like that...

I think about all that's happened in the past 4 years and I'm blown away at the pace of life. We lost my mom shortly after our wedding which was incredibly hard. Braeden was born that September and was colicky as hell. We built a house and our first home together sat on the market for a year, to the day... We've made amazing friends in our new subdivision, people I know will always be in our lives. We traveled to Mexico. We took our first of several "family" mini vacation to the Dells with Braeden. I started my own Uppercase Living business which Joe is very supportive of. I got a part time job at the Athletic Club I belong to. Braeden started preschool this winter and is thriving. We watched our investments climb to exciting levels and saw them drop drastically. We became Godparents to my sister's son. We've spent 3.5 years raising a son who is, thus far, incredibly compassionate, funny, loving, smart and we spend so much time talking about how he's going to turn out...hoping we're doing right by him.

Most people would probably sit and type out an emotionally charged entry about how great married life is and how happy they are. I'm more of a realist than that, and I love that about myself. Marriage is not easy. Living with the same person in a union year after year is incredibly challenging as once the honeymoon (figurative and literal) are over, you are faced with life's daily grinds. There are struggles, things you wish happened differently, concessions you sometimes need to make and tough decisions that you don't always agree on. I don't think marriage is easy, and anyone who gloats differently has their head up their ass.

But I'll tell you what I think marriage IS.... It's an evolution. It's an evolution where you move from who you used to be to who you are today. Because of my husband, I am a strong woman. I am a supporting wife and loving mother. I cannot imagine being anywhere except right here, right now. Good and bad.

It's not the same as it used to be, but we've evolved. We no longer make out in bars (thank God for all in our company) or get drunk 5 out of 7 nights a week because we don't know what else to do. We don't lay around all day on Sundays anymore because we have different responsibilities. We don't eat out 5 nights a week anymore because the best time of the day is when Braeden's eyes light up listening to Daddy talk at the dinner table over a simple meal I've put together. Sometimes the biggest fire in our bedroom is a heated conversation over what a farce the local news is.

In the past 4 years, Joe has gotten to know me better than anyone else and I love that. We are so in sync at times it's almost scary...sometimes I'd like my thoughts to be private but he often seems able to read them. He knows what makes me tick, he knows how to spoil me, and he knows how to be supportive. And I, in turn, know the same about him. And although I am often a nag (by my own admission), he loves me anyways, even if he doesn't remember that at that given moment. It often slips my mind that I love him too when he's being unreasonable or pessimistic. But we always come back to the same spot and remember how much we love each other. We're a REAL couple, not two people putting on a front of perfection. We have ups and downs and always will. But I'll take them. For him, I will take them.

So here, 4 years later Joe, I love you completely with everything that I am. I cannot imagine my life without you and now, while stress is high thanks to our dismal economy, know that I will ALWAYS be there for you. You will always be my guy, and I look forward to all the years we have yet to share...

Boys Will Be Boys

Boys love farts. It's just a fact. They sound funny, smell gross and elicit interesting reactions from others in the vicinity. I sometimes wonder if there isn't some secret, extra chromosome that boys have predisposing them to becoming fartoholics.

Braeden probably couldn't sing all the words to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", even though we sang it every night for his first 3 years of life. But he sure knows the ever-popular twist (written by my husband) on said song, entitled "Stinky Stinky Stinky Farts."

I don't think Joe farts more than the average man (and won't he love me for blogging about this) but Braeden thinks it's hilarious. In fact, everyone in Mukwonago and surrounding areas has now heard Braeden announce, as though he were calling everyone to dinner, that his "daddy is so funny. My daddy farts ALL THE TIME!" Spasms of laughter always follow. The post office. The waitresses. The check out ladies. The ladies at the gym. My manager. Our family. The bank tellers. The barber (he even smiled, which is really quite a feat for the rather stern looking gentleman). Everyone. What a kid.

Maybe it's not that the farts that make him laugh...it could be that Joe always announces "Does anyone hear a duck?" and then lets one rip. He'd kill them on Comedy Central, right?

Now I, the Mother figure, am working on getting Braeden to say "excuse me" after he farts. Manners are a tricky thing with preschoolers. About 1 in 10 times he'll remember to excuse himself. As of recently, the 9 remaining times I hear "does anyone hear a duck?"

Boys.

My Final Word on the Bachelor

So a TVGuide.com poll resulted in 60% of respondents answering "Jason Mesnick is a bastard." The poll choice simply echoed his final choice Melissa's very own words, but still...that's a little harsh, no?

I don't agree with him dumping her on national television. That was simply despicable. Whether or not she knew it was coming, I find it inexcusable. For all the talk about how these are real people and real lives at stake, Jason sure didn't take this into consideration. He says he had to follow his heart and that's fine...I agree with that. Don't lead her on, be a man and end it. But dude, could you do it in the privacy of your own home instead of in front of millions of onlookers? That's not following your heart - that's just being an ass. Jason was the most beloved Bachelor, perhaps in the history of the show, and for most people, he managed to tarnish that image in 5 minutes. That's pretty amazing.

So Molly and he are still together and are happy...blah blah blah. Whatever is in their future, I'm glad I won't have to watch anymore.

I would NEVER play second fiddle to another woman!!!! You hear that, MOLLY!!!???

(Kind of immature but so well deserved)


Last night was the finale of Jason Mesnick's season of "The Bachelor" as well as the first of a 2 part "After the Final Rose" event. A few posts ago, I blogged about a fart named Reality Steve who spilled the beans on the show's "most dramatic" conclusion ever. I didn't really WANT to look but I hate surprises and needed to. Kind of like I NEED a necklace and handbag to go with every outfit....

I never really doubted him as he, in his own ill-performed way, seemed confident in his story. I guess he's well reputed in the reality tv world (who knew there could be such a person?) so it stands to reason, I suppose, that he wouldn't put his rep on the line and give away an ending he wasn't 100% sure of. If only we all had that kind of time to devote to a dying television art form. Oh crap, and here I'm blogging about it...

Anyways, as told, Jason walked Molly hand-in-hand toward the curb and then kicked her to it. He then lost control of himself in a fit of tears and emotion. Kind of weird, really, considering he just broke up with her because he's "completely in love with another woman" (or some other dribble like that). If I was the chosen one, I'd be like "Listen up, mother f$#%@&.... Why the hell do you care so much about letting go of her if you love me?" Nothing like making you second guess where your man's heart is to have him breakdown about not being able to make out with 2 babes anymore.

So he proposes to Melissa and she squeals like a Pomeranian, they jump in the pool with Ty, his son (well, how did YOU celebrate your engagement? With a glass of wine? How boring!) and talk about how much in love they are and how great the future is going to be.



For 6 weeks.

Then fade to "After the Final Rose" and Chris Harrison announcing what we've had shoved down our throats for the past 3 weeks... What we are about to see is potentially so shocking that they filmed on a closed set. Jason walks out, looking forlorn and beaten, and tells us the shocking news...

He doesn't love Melissa anymore. He's going to break up with her.

Now, had I not known this previously, I still would have laughed my ass off (burned a few extra calories I suppose). Who really expects these Bachelor relationships to work out? There's Trista and Ryan, of course, but they're one of like 13 seasons. That's a 7.7% success rate. Even for weathermen, that's not good...

So what's the logical thing to do? According to Jason, it's to break up with Melissa ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. WTF!? First off, WHO actually thought this was a good idea? The producers? If so, that further perpetuates the feeling Joe has that all television producers should rot in hell. Did Jason think this was a good idea? Who knows, but odds are that the contract he signed was so iron-clad and he had to do everything the hellbound producers wanted, short of sacrificing Ty to the Reality Gods.

So after he breaks it to Melissa (no pun intended) that they are over, she calls him a "bastard" and tells him "not to call or text me anymore." He tells her that he can't stop thinking about his second choice, Molly. Uh oh. I give her credit...if this was real, I don't know how she didn't pummel his ass into tomorrow. I would have. On national tv!? Really, Jason!

After she leaves the set, they bring out Molly and Chris does everything but stamp it on her damn (unusually large and shiny) forehead that Jason is going to ask for a second chance. After claiming that she was in mourning for some time but is now okay, she says she's actually dreamt that would happen and that she does actually still love him. He comes out, all slithery, and in what could be the most akward moment in RT history, says something to the effect of "I was wondering, like, if we could give it another shot."

I think my first boyfriend said that to me. We were 10.

After watching this last night, I really think the sidebar prediction Reality Steve had about this entire season being scripted may be spot on. He claims that right off the bat, Jason knew it was going to be Molly, but he had to play along with the producers' game because of the Bachelor contract. If so, Melissa was a pawn in this unfortunate series of events. Listening to the dialogue, reading the body language (knew those college courses would pay off one day!), the bad acting, all of it together spelled SCRIPTED. Damn them all for thinking we're all idiots. All 42 million of us idiots that probably tuned in last night.

But here's what stumps me most about this whole thing... Molly's reaction. She sat, looking stumped, but the more he yammered on about how he made a mistake, the more she ate it up. By the end, I swear I that I thought she was going to propose to HIM. What kind of self-appreciating woman would be OK with this? He chose another woman, claimed he was head over heels in love with her, brought her into his young son's life and spent 6 (count 'em, SIX) weeks with her before deciding, nope, this ain't happening. It isn't working out with number 1, so I'm going to give number 2 a shot.

What woman says, Hell Yeah! Let's do this! Does she realize that she's his LEFTOVERS? There isn't a girl on Earth who is okay with that, unless, she's like imbalanced or something. And her stupid grin last night may have indicted that is the case.

Tonight is Part 2 and they promise there's one more surprise in store. What? He gave Molly 3 weeks and decided that after all this, he still loves Deanna? And who could actually believe her nerve showing up last night telling him SHE wanted a second chance? What's the name of this show again? "What's for Dinner Tonight? Last Night's Meatloaf!"????

Run away Jillian...fast as you can!!!!

Anxiously awaiting tonight's pure absurdity...

Have you ever licked the bowl...

(on a side note, when I initially typed the title to this I mistyped "bowl" and typed "blow" instead...Good Lord!)

Let's try this again....Have you ever licked the bowl clean after mixing cake batter and thought, "cripes, I could eat a pound of this goodness"??? Yes you have. Don't pretend you haven't, we all have. Why does cake batter taste better than the actual cake? When licking the spatula, I've often thought about how I could eat the entire mix instead of baking it, kind of like Jodi and I did in college. We hate damn near half the brownie batter and then baked the remainder...ever seen a 1/8" tall brownie? At least, I think it was Jodi?

I've been on a combination of Nutrisystem/Slimfast for a few weeks now, and only drinking SF because I don't have enough NS breakfasts to get me through. I tried the French Vanilla flavor this morning and the first few drinks I was in heaven. I kid you not, it is vanilla/yellow cake batter.

By the end of the glass, I was gagging it down. Guess I wouldn't be able to eat the whole bowl after all. Who knew you could ACTUALLY have too much of a good thing?