I am apologizing ahead of time

I am apologizing ahead of time for the imminent bitchiness that is, as of right now, peacefully slumbering, awaiting it's headlining appearance.

"Still pissed about that Friday remake?" No. As of today, I started Nutrisystem again.

Nutrisystem in itself does not make me bitchy. I had great success with it nearly 3 years ago after becoming a hippopotamus while pregnant, and then continuing with hippopotomy-ways post-birth. 60 pounds. That's what you get when your pregnancy cravings consist of nothing but Hamburger Helper. 10 for $10 Hamburber Helper.

I was on Nutrisystem for 3-1/2 months or so (steadily for 2 and then slowly adding back in normal food for another month or two) and lost a whopping 40 pounds. I know, you're thinking "but you gained 60, Amanda, you said so yourself." Thanks for doing the math and pointing that out, but I did manage to shed some weight when I had a baby pulled out of a scar-inducing slit in my stomach, and when I stopped eating Hamburger Helper 7 days a week. I'm not totally out of control.

Okay, see why I apologized? Bitchy me.

Anyways.... I lost 40 pounds and got down to what I can remember being the fittest I'd ever been. I exercised religiously, ate well, and really applied myself. Many think Nutrisystem is some quick-fix fad diet that you can't possibly maintain because you're not eating the food forever. True, you're not, but it does teach you certain principles, ratios and portion sizes that, unless you're a total dipshit, you CAN apply to real-life and be successful. I was case in point and did just that, even lost more after I went off the pre-packaged food.

Then came 2008. THIS is why I'm bitchy. Why the hell did 2008 even HAPPEN? We lost a tremendous amount of money in the markets. Sales have slowed dramatically at Joe's company. Braeden turned into a very demanding, head-strong and challenging 3-year old (only sometimes but still, it's harder than age 1). Grocery prices and gas went sky high. Obama was elected President.

Shame. I promised I wouldn't do that anymore.

And in 2008, I gained weight. Not a pound or two. Let's say it's enough to make most of my pants not fit correctly. I have a muffin top when I wear them and then my shirts look stupid. My once-cute boobs feel like they're popping out of my bra, even though Joe assures me they are not. My ass feels like it's taken on a life of it's own, like it just woke up and realized it was missing out on the party. My face seems fuller. And my thighs....oh, let's not even talk about my thighs.

"But Amanda, you got yourself there." Yes, thank you very much, AGAIN, for pointing out the obvious. I really slacked on exercising, and although I didn't quit it altogther, it definitely was not as high-priority as it was before. I took many more liberties with food. Pizza became my friend again. You know, the kind of friend you think is your friend but they're really just waiting in the wings to steal your boyfriend... Wine. Oh Lordiness, did I indulge in the wine. And beer. And chips. Pasta... You name it, I probably ate it.

I am an idiot for thinking it wouldn't catch up with me. But 2008, the year from Hell, made sure that it did. In a big way. And I've decided to do something about it. I am taking control. I am doing what I know works because it worked wonderfully in the past. So Nutrisystem, I am here old Buddy. I enjoyed your Pasta with Beef for lunch and look forward to Mac and Cheese for dinner. No more Cheez-its. You hear that Ed? No more Cheez-Its.

I will be fabulous by mid-Spring and stunning by Summerfest. I will win this battle. And I'm blogging about. How stupid am I to document this????